Joy is a gift of true relationship. It is one of the things that bind the couple together. It is important to remember the joy that brought you together. When the going gets rough remember the Joy the made the two of you one flesh. It is a part of original divine intention. In Genesis it says, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Part of what caused one flesh was the Joy that the two people felt for each other in the beginning.
Joy without responsibilities is easy to achieve. I will use a personal example to explain what I mean. I had the best first date ever. My date that became my husband showed up on time with flowers. I was about 27 years old and I don’t remember receiving flowers before that. He walked me to my side of the car and opened the door for me. When we arrived at the home of his colleague we had a wonderful dinner with stuffed roasted breast of duck, onions stuffed with wild rice, a salad and flambé dessert. It was a lovely meal. It was the kind of meal that everyone wants on his or her first date. When we were almost home he took an envelope out of his pocket for my babysitter. He said he did not want our dating to be an expense for me. He added that he wanted the children to be part of our dating and our relationship. Almost 44 years later, I still remember that Joy, sweetJoy that happened on my first day with my husband who went home to be with the Lord almost 4 years ago.
As time moves on other things enter the picture. Maintaining life requires a home for the couple and with the home comes responsibilities. A home adds chores, home contents and bills that often create some conflict.
When my husband and I returned from our honeymoon, we went shopping. I spent so much money that he said, "I love to do the shopping. You do not have to go again". He also said he would do the laundry. Those chores were taken care of for the forty years that followed. Internal responsibilities are part of creating a marriage and there are external issues including jobs, education, church, and social obligations. All of those things are part of the Joy that holds the couple together as they make numerous accomplishments.
Joy and the mundane things of life must co-exist, Without Joy, life will become increasingly unpleasant. The absence of Joy will result in a discontent life. In other words Joy is an essential part of everyday life.
MONTHLY QUESTIONS:
1. Can you identify a way that you found joy as a couple before marriage?
2. Can you identify 3 – 5 ways that you and your spouse bring each other joy now?
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